Dearest At,
Is it the disarray that has you perplexed or the stickiness thereof?
Perhaps he can allay your ire a step at a time.
I find that all my son's friends frequently violate my laundry hamper.
This seems acceptable as these are my filthed-up unmentionables.
Some DNA on my skidmarks causes no problem as they get the best soap I can afford in the very next wash.
Of course if I wait a bit too long I have to contend with a 30 lb. dried ball that looks alive.
Your humble servant,
Professor Shoove.
Please seat yourself.
I like the very things you hate.